All I Wanna Do....Is Grow Old With You.

I just had multiple, consecutive weeping sessions. Yup, I just watched The Notebook. Sometimes when I'm watching a movie by myself, I skip around to my favorite scenes and bypass the conflicts or more angsty parts of movies (beginning scene in Finding Nemo when the mom dies, the part in Beauty and the Beast when Gaston leads the villagefolk against the Beast's Castle) so I can get to the quotable lines or the love story. But nope, I watched this movie the whole way through. I normally end it early when it gets to the older Noah and Allie but this time I stayed with them & sobbed. I cried so much I actually got a little dehydrated I think so I paused the movie to take a swig of V8 Fusion- Acai Berry ~Fruits & Vegetables (product placement) and I'm feeling much betta! (Kudos if you get the reference <3)

I just realized how important it is to be your best & most natural self around the people who you care about the most. Life is short and there's not enough time to carry a facade and then spend more time transitioning from that to the real you. I think that's why some relationships don't last- someone isn't being honest about who they are. You'll naturally be happier around people you love, don't try to be happier. I finally allowed myself to accept that I may not have the stunning career I imagine I will, but if I can foremost find someone who I truly feel will love me through everything, and who will change with me, then everything I do after that will be a success. I want to grow old with someone who will always see the good in what I do and find the positive in what I say. I want to spend the rest of my life with a husband who inspires me to be better and who I can be whoever I want when I'm with him.

Holy moses I don't know if I will ever get the hang of writing down what I'm thinking before my thoughts have moved on. But as Mr. Dozier once wrote on the board, "The palest ink is better than the best memory." Big, vague call-out to everyone who has ever inspired me to care about how I say things and how I live my life. I love LOVE. Good night, much love, Courtney xoxo

P.S. I love you. (I always want to do that after watching that movie with Swank & Butler!)

P.S.S. There was a marvelous thunderstorm today that soaked me through my chef outfit. I'm addicted to weather phenomena. (Forreals, weather warnings on the radio thrill me. I get all crazy when it starts out with that beeping noise, makes me want to speed to Wal-Mart and buy a neon orange emergency backpack and a crank radio.)