Wednesday, September 19, 2012

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: Inspired by "Take Me Home"

If you REALLY want to understand me a little better, read it. If you only read a little bit then that's okay also. If you don't read it at all, you'll get it from spending enough time with me. Take the time.

I am Courtney Carter. I am an introvert but an extrovert when I want to be. I am happiest when I'm driving somewhere or doing something I have never done before. I prefer doing these things with people I love but I am perfectly happy by myself. I don't need a lot, just love and support and I'll show you my best. Sometimes my weird moods are out of my control and I just have to function through it and sometimes I say things I don't mean. I desperately would love to be in a Sundance Film Festival type of movie, no make up. I want to fall in love. I have loved before, but I know there's more to it. I love country music with details in the lyrics. I can't really sing in front of people without music, but I have sounded good several times when I've been by myself. You're just going to have to take my word for it. :) I love being Mormon so much. I am proud to be associated with successful, happy people and it makes me feel fulfilled when I see happy families. I don't agree with Provo culture where guys think they're sweetstuff because they served a mission and they deserve a girl that is prettier than they are handsome and the girl just wants to get married to make babies. I don't think that's how it's supposed to go, exactly. I believe in true love. I believe I deserve someone that amazes me. I love reading more than almost anything else. My favorite place in the world is a clean bathroom and a mirror, no particular one. I love road trips so much that it almost doesn't matter where I'm going. I could be going to the grocery store, I just like driving places. I do not like running. I like the ellyptical and eating healthy foods, but I just imagine my knee cartilage wearing down and that makes me distressed. I am obsessed with old people. I love talking to strangers. I overthink how I appear to my crush and my friends. I know that I'm talking with a true friend when I completely forget about how I look and how they look and I'm completely thinking about what we're talking about. I like that moment when you have a great conversation with someone and come out of the conversation so happy to have found someone who gets you, at least in a small part. I enjoy analyzing people. I constantly analyze romantic relationships around me. I daydream about how to get on the Ellen show and what I would say that would show the world how beautiful life is and how every person is so exciting. I want to get on national news for something so people can add to conversations by saying how they knew me. I don't think life is simple, I think it's really complex. I am obsessed with naming my future kids, for girls I like Olivia, Sylvia, Diana, Lydia, Julia. For boy names I like Parker, Hunter, Cooper, Carter, Alexander. I want a guy who can take me in different moods and in different lifestyles. When I travel, I want to get lost somewhere off the beaten track. I rarely get specific directions because I enjoy figuring it out. I like knowing the gas mileage of the car I'm driving. Preferably as I'm driving. I like the cars that have "miles to go" before the gas tank is empty. I am a hopeless romantic. I love foreigners. I think it is so sexy when a guy is really smart. The word for that is sapiosexual. I love the smell of a bike shop. I love the smell of a new car, leather shoes, new books, my hair. I love everything bohemian. There was a "Say Yes to the Dress" Randy special where a Dallas cowgirl chose a boho chic dress/hair/make up ensemble and I LOVED it. I love having long hair. I wish I had more time to do stuff with my hair. I learned how to do a fishtail braid when a girl was braiding her friend's hair in a church devotional two rows in front of me. I have a bad habit of looking people in the eyes when I'm walking around. Sometimes I have to remind myself to fidget or blink when I'm talking to people because I'm so focused on what they're saying. I worry a lot that I talk too much about myself in conversations, but sometimes that's the only relevant response I can think about. I am fascinated by people who are really different from me. I want to learn everyone's life history. I love Rachel Weisz and a Fine Frenzy's make up is so pretty. I love when people tell me about themselves. I notice other people's eyes. Not necessarily the color, but how I feel about them. I get so thrilled every time someone gives me a compliment. I rarely remember what people wear, I barely remember what I wore the day before. I love talking and talking with people who have new thoughts. I love people with a wry sense of humor. I like big words and I like people who use big words. I like literary references, I wish I knew more. My memory for names is really good if I have seen it written. I have a photographic memory: I can visualize where I've seen it written and how it's written. I want to go skydiving. I love my family so much. I want to wait a few years to have kids with my husband because I want us to have our relationship all to ourselves for a little bit before it changes into something else. I cannot wait to have kids, I will probably have a ton of them because I think kids are the coolest/funniest beings ever. Also, I'm going to be an awesome mom and I think guys are so attractive when they're good with kids so I'll be hopelessly in love with my husband when we have kids. I believe in savoring moments and taking things slow to appreciate incremental changes. I love people who give hugs and play with hands and are close when you're talking, not in a romantic or flirty way, just with friends. I need closure and I need questions answered or else it drives me insane. I need to know why things happen. I love chocolate soy milk. My tongue swells up when I have too much processed sugar. I get stressed when I'm supposed to work out in a group. My eyes change color depending on distance, what I'm wearing, and/or how I feel. They're mostly green but are gray when I'm really mad. I enjoy playing volleyball. I am flattered and so happy that I'm the Ward Volleyball Captain. I need about 8 hours of sleep a night. I can easily stay up late but I usually get weird and discombobulated if I maintain a haphazard sleeping pattern. I enjoy thinking about big questions and serious topics. I imagine what type of politician I would be. I rarely consult a recipe to cook unless I'm cooking for other people. I think Nutella is one of the best things invented. I don't crave bacon like the rest of the population apparently does. I don't think I've ever had a super strict routine for how I do anything. I rarely have matching socks. I really love walking long distances. I love taking pictures because it's hard to predict exactly how it's going to turn out. I love people who don't have to talk all the time. I am sometimes too aware of people's presence, just in general, and I think I send out vibes to push people away and I don't know why. I love breezes and being cold at night. I usually have vivid dreams. I read Fox News and CNN. Truthfully, I think I'm a Libertarian but I don't want to throw away my vote. Details matter. I think the most attractive guys are gorgeous, intelligent, and observant. I rarely listen to music when I drive, usually it's off. When it's on I like to listen to classical, jazz, foreign, country, or a song I can really sing with. I usually say the right thing but I don't like having to do it for a long period of time. I like being able to go from completely serious to laughing to completely serious again. I'm fully aware of my worth and I will be picky about who I marry. Also, I refuse to feel stressed about not being engaged. I'm 20 years old. I am going on a mission and that is going to make me better. I want to marry someone who will travel with me and get lost and hold me and get my humor and just look me in the eyes without talking sometimes. I am so excited about everything I have done and all that I'm going to do. I just watched "Take Me Home" and movies like that make me fall in love with life all over again. I don't even care if that's cheesy, that's how I feel about it. I love people who take the time to stick through the "nothing" times and the "crazy fun" times to understand who I really am.
xoxoxox Courtney

2 comments:

  1. Courtney, I just love you!! I actually read all of that just now. :) I value these kinds of entries because as Socrates once said, "The unexamined life is not worth living" and I feel like you understand yourself very well. (And your kids are going to love reading this later.) I think you are an incredibly intelligent and fun person and you're going to do so much good in this world.

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  2. Ji Su, thank youuu!! :) Love you too! This comment made me so happy! I love reading your stuff, so we're equally impressed. :)

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