Advice for Life

Just a few thoughts for the world, not everyone needs this but I have observed a few things during my time on this planet that have worked for me.

1. Never make a weird association with someone's name. They have to live with their name after you finish talking, that stuff bothers people regardless of who you are. (same concept true for pointing out oddities with their body or personality)

2. Never criticize a person who has a crush on your friend. Especially not to your friend. No one wants to think that losers like them.

3. Attractive and sensitive people tend to get teased more than their fair share. I hesitate to say this but I really think that there is a weird phenomena of not letting people know they're attractive because you worry that they won't want to be associated with you anymore. Attractive people, acknowledge this and don't take it so hard next time. 

4. When you're in an unpleasant situation, don't waste time wishing you were somewhere else. You can actually train your mind to not imagine "I wish I was... instead." Be in the moment and make the best of it you can, learn something from it. 

5. If you really care about someone who is no longer in your life, you might have some unanswered questions. Ask them as soon as possible. Trying to explain things with your imagination will drive you crazy. (note to self)

6. Don't carry on a friendship if it starts tainting your positive memories with that person. Be there for that person when they go through something difficult but know when it's bringing you down as well. Hang on to the good memories. 

7. Don't have a crush on your TA in a really difficult class like Political Science. It makes assignments that much more stressful because you know that person will be grading it. Just don't put yourself through that. 

8. Be nice to your family randomly. It makes life so fun to get a random text or call the moment someone thinks about you or misses you. This works for friends also, but make sure family is a priority. 

9. Never assume you can make a quick trip to the library or whatever and dress accordingly. YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE YOU LIKE. 

10. It's okay to be in awe of your friends sometimes. Appreciate when someone lets you in your life, even if just for a few minutes, they didn't have to do that. 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: Inspired by "Take Me Home"

If you REALLY want to understand me a little better, read it. If you only read a little bit then that's okay also. If you don't read it at all, you'll get it from spending enough time with me. Take the time.

I am Courtney Carter. I am an introvert but an extrovert when I want to be. I am happiest when I'm driving somewhere or doing something I have never done before. I prefer doing these things with people I love but I am perfectly happy by myself. I don't need a lot, just love and support and I'll show you my best. Sometimes my weird moods are out of my control and I just have to function through it and sometimes I say things I don't mean. I desperately would love to be in a Sundance Film Festival type of movie, no make up. I want to fall in love. I have loved before, but I know there's more to it. I love country music with details in the lyrics. I can't really sing in front of people without music, but I have sounded good several times when I've been by myself. You're just going to have to take my word for it. :) I love being Mormon so much. I am proud to be associated with successful, happy people and it makes me feel fulfilled when I see happy families. I don't agree with Provo culture where guys think they're sweetstuff because they served a mission and they deserve a girl that is prettier than they are handsome and the girl just wants to get married to make babies. I don't think that's how it's supposed to go, exactly. I believe in true love. I believe I deserve someone that amazes me. I love reading more than almost anything else. My favorite place in the world is a clean bathroom and a mirror, no particular one. I love road trips so much that it almost doesn't matter where I'm going. I could be going to the grocery store, I just like driving places. I do not like running. I like the ellyptical and eating healthy foods, but I just imagine my knee cartilage wearing down and that makes me distressed. I am obsessed with old people. I love talking to strangers. I overthink how I appear to my crush and my friends. I know that I'm talking with a true friend when I completely forget about how I look and how they look and I'm completely thinking about what we're talking about. I like that moment when you have a great conversation with someone and come out of the conversation so happy to have found someone who gets you, at least in a small part. I enjoy analyzing people. I constantly analyze romantic relationships around me. I daydream about how to get on the Ellen show and what I would say that would show the world how beautiful life is and how every person is so exciting. I want to get on national news for something so people can add to conversations by saying how they knew me. I don't think life is simple, I think it's really complex. I am obsessed with naming my future kids, for girls I like Olivia, Sylvia, Diana, Lydia, Julia. For boy names I like Parker, Hunter, Cooper, Carter, Alexander. I want a guy who can take me in different moods and in different lifestyles. When I travel, I want to get lost somewhere off the beaten track. I rarely get specific directions because I enjoy figuring it out. I like knowing the gas mileage of the car I'm driving. Preferably as I'm driving. I like the cars that have "miles to go" before the gas tank is empty. I am a hopeless romantic. I love foreigners. I think it is so sexy when a guy is really smart. The word for that is sapiosexual. I love the smell of a bike shop. I love the smell of a new car, leather shoes, new books, my hair. I love everything bohemian. There was a "Say Yes to the Dress" Randy special where a Dallas cowgirl chose a boho chic dress/hair/make up ensemble and I LOVED it. I love having long hair. I wish I had more time to do stuff with my hair. I learned how to do a fishtail braid when a girl was braiding her friend's hair in a church devotional two rows in front of me. I have a bad habit of looking people in the eyes when I'm walking around. Sometimes I have to remind myself to fidget or blink when I'm talking to people because I'm so focused on what they're saying. I worry a lot that I talk too much about myself in conversations, but sometimes that's the only relevant response I can think about. I am fascinated by people who are really different from me. I want to learn everyone's life history. I love Rachel Weisz and a Fine Frenzy's make up is so pretty. I love when people tell me about themselves. I notice other people's eyes. Not necessarily the color, but how I feel about them. I get so thrilled every time someone gives me a compliment. I rarely remember what people wear, I barely remember what I wore the day before. I love talking and talking with people who have new thoughts. I love people with a wry sense of humor. I like big words and I like people who use big words. I like literary references, I wish I knew more. My memory for names is really good if I have seen it written. I have a photographic memory: I can visualize where I've seen it written and how it's written. I want to go skydiving. I love my family so much. I want to wait a few years to have kids with my husband because I want us to have our relationship all to ourselves for a little bit before it changes into something else. I cannot wait to have kids, I will probably have a ton of them because I think kids are the coolest/funniest beings ever. Also, I'm going to be an awesome mom and I think guys are so attractive when they're good with kids so I'll be hopelessly in love with my husband when we have kids. I believe in savoring moments and taking things slow to appreciate incremental changes. I love people who give hugs and play with hands and are close when you're talking, not in a romantic or flirty way, just with friends. I need closure and I need questions answered or else it drives me insane. I need to know why things happen. I love chocolate soy milk. My tongue swells up when I have too much processed sugar. I get stressed when I'm supposed to work out in a group. My eyes change color depending on distance, what I'm wearing, and/or how I feel. They're mostly green but are gray when I'm really mad. I enjoy playing volleyball. I am flattered and so happy that I'm the Ward Volleyball Captain. I need about 8 hours of sleep a night. I can easily stay up late but I usually get weird and discombobulated if I maintain a haphazard sleeping pattern. I enjoy thinking about big questions and serious topics. I imagine what type of politician I would be. I rarely consult a recipe to cook unless I'm cooking for other people. I think Nutella is one of the best things invented. I don't crave bacon like the rest of the population apparently does. I don't think I've ever had a super strict routine for how I do anything. I rarely have matching socks. I really love walking long distances. I love taking pictures because it's hard to predict exactly how it's going to turn out. I love people who don't have to talk all the time. I am sometimes too aware of people's presence, just in general, and I think I send out vibes to push people away and I don't know why. I love breezes and being cold at night. I usually have vivid dreams. I read Fox News and CNN. Truthfully, I think I'm a Libertarian but I don't want to throw away my vote. Details matter. I think the most attractive guys are gorgeous, intelligent, and observant. I rarely listen to music when I drive, usually it's off. When it's on I like to listen to classical, jazz, foreign, country, or a song I can really sing with. I usually say the right thing but I don't like having to do it for a long period of time. I like being able to go from completely serious to laughing to completely serious again. I'm fully aware of my worth and I will be picky about who I marry. Also, I refuse to feel stressed about not being engaged. I'm 20 years old. I am going on a mission and that is going to make me better. I want to marry someone who will travel with me and get lost and hold me and get my humor and just look me in the eyes without talking sometimes. I am so excited about everything I have done and all that I'm going to do. I just watched "Take Me Home" and movies like that make me fall in love with life all over again. I don't even care if that's cheesy, that's how I feel about it. I love people who take the time to stick through the "nothing" times and the "crazy fun" times to understand who I really am.
xoxoxox Courtney

Current Thoughts: "What is going on?"

I have felt every conceivable emotion in the past few days. I have loved seeing Janani, Meagan, Laura, and skyping with Steven and Lily!! I have sent out roughly 40 job applications and have an interview for 10 AM tomorrow lined up with Hardee's for a biscuit-maker job. This might possibly conflict with an opportunity I have to work at a daycare with a woman from church. Emotions involved: initially repelled from Hardee's lack of good food and fast food environment, grateful to hear back from SOMEBODY, stressed about possibly not getting another job, anxiety over the fact that I may have missed a babysitting opportunity by waiting an extra day to hear back from another babysitting offer, sadness that my parents keep giving advice that condemns my current plan of action, uncertainty about whether my parent's constant questioning is in fact squelching my self-motivation, and general weariness at the prospect of uncertain hours at Tropical Smoothie for the rest of the summer. I also am trying to suppress feelings of resentment that my parents wanted me to stay home for the summer because they missed me but I may have missed big opportunities in Washington, D.C. or in Utah. I love my family but the job situation is starting to take its toll on not only my motivation but also on my energy level. Ughhhhhhhh.

Anywho, my roadtrip to visit my Nana and Grandpere is a much-needed break from these emotions. I love my grandparents and I hope that I will not be too melancholy. I have never worried about being able to control my emotions at will, but recently I have seen how it has disrupted my natural conversation style and it worries me that I am not able to put things out of my mind completely when interacting with non-related people. I should probably clean my room but I have to do it when I have the motivation and that motivation is depleted whenever it is mentioned so it's a delicate balance between allowing enough time to pass after my parents bring it up and genuinely being in the mood before they bring it up again. I love my parents and I respect them but I'm realizing that time spent at college has frozen my abilities and personality in their mind while I have been gone and now that I'm back, I feel as though my character is regressing slightly because they don't know how I've grown so I have to constantly reassert who I am and that is driving me crazy. My sister Hali and I get along much better now than we did when I first came home. I think the key is to just be the person I know I am and letting the rest of the family catch up with it. 

I am also consumed by thoughts of my mission and its implications. There is a fascinating person in my life that overwhelms me with his potential and our potential for a synergistic relationship but this cannot be determined until we are together. I just deleted a large portion of what I wrote because it's so personal that I should not post it in a public blog. Just know that if you see me and I seem to have erratic behavior or mannerisms that it is a direct result of the intense pressure of my current life. 

I must bid adieu to get dressed for work and possibly jog in place for a minute to amp up my energy levels. I have an amazing life and I must be so careful to appreciate everything in it, so I close now with my reassertion that I am grateful for this job and I will do a good job today at blending those smoothies. :)

Court 

Wearing Over-Sized Cat Shirt, Will Write.

Ooooooooooook. I'm a lazy writer. Bite me.

So life is kind of busy and sometimes I like doing easybrain things like scroll through my Fbook newsfeed and get short-term highs from funny gifs on Tumblr.

So I had a weird dream last night that I am suddenly forgetting about... I mainly remember that there was a lot of dark blue, black, and illicit activities. A lot of action. And I had to sneak around so the bad guys wouldn't see me. Why do we forget our dreams so quickly? I think it should be a mandatory life activity to write about our dreams as soon as we wake up, before we think about anything else. This should be so important that it can be used as a viable excuse for being late to other appointments and activities. I want to be a professional kookologist or whatever the name is for a professional dream analyzer. Our dreams are our subconscious working through the stuff we think about while we're awake. Do I have a secret desire to be involved in illicit activities?? Maybe.

Update on my life in 20 words: Tropsmoo worker again, planning roadtrip to DisneyWorld, goldendoodle puppy in two weeks, writing a book, intense thinking about my life. Any other questions? Text, comment, or email me.

ANYWHO, I have been doing some serious career analysis. This may or may not have been brought on by my being turned down by Chipotle in lieu of another candidate who was more qualified. FOR CHIPOTLE?! How hard can it be to ask "Black beans or baked beans?", hear "black beans", and scoop black beans onto a burrito?? Apparently too difficult according to a review of my current qualifications.. It's no big deal really, I just can't believe how crazy it is to get a job. I'm happy with my job, but 45 applications later and still nothing super promising. Two major roadblocks: I can't be a waitress because I'm not old enough to serve alcohol and I'm only looking for a summer job so I can't continue work after August. Enough of this rant.

The Olympics start on July 27th! I am so excited to chill on the couch and eat candy while I watch it. Actually I'm going to do something new, I plan on doing a (severely) modified version of the event I'm watching so I can feel a 1/1000th of their experience. I have made an exciting self-discovery: I never feel guilty while watching television because I am constantly analyzing whatever I am watching. I consciously file away portions of what I watch to either support or dismiss prior opinions. I just make sure I watch as little junk as possible (Bravo in moderation).

So if you're still reading, you must be kind of obsessed with me so I'll continue with some more of my observations about myself. I'm kind of at a standstill with the books I'm reading because "Zero Day" by David Baldacci I fear has some scary stuff forthcoming (based on what I've read so far) and the other one "Wheel of Time" or something like that, has weird names for everyone and the characters behave abnormally. It was given to me by this really cool guy that I met at a hot tub though and the book is adorably duct-taped back together because he has read it so much so I'm going to get through the book no matter what.

My mom just came in to see what I was doing and when I told her I was updating my blogs, she gave me a severely disapproving look that I had multiple public blogs. I think my parents are sometimes confused by me.

I worked out today at the gym today and I feel great! I've been working out quite a bit since being home and my job requires me to either stand or walk so I consider it a form of non-sedentary behavior, which is a plus. This guy kept showing up at a machine nearby whenever I moved around the gym, which was either coincidence or a form of flattery. I looked like a hot mess though so I think we can safely assume that he has a hottie crush on me. It is so strange how differently I write, from how I think, from how I speak.

Mom just told me that I have a good memory for books, ok she gets me.

Ok I'm going to do some more soul-searching as I either make a valiant attempt at the books or chillax on netflix with a foreign documentary or chat with Mumzie. I didn't write a lot of what I intended to write, but I am pleased with the fact that I made it here and jotted down a few alphabetical characters.

Ciao! xoxo Coco

Wow. I am seriously a slacker writer sometimes. Well I don't have a time-turner so let's just pick it up from this point and sally forth.

I had so much fun this past year, sophomore year was nutso. I have amazing roommates Natalie, Hailey, Alisa, and Kay who I just met when we moved in to our Raintree apt and they are SO much fun! I am such a dork when it comes to friends, I never assume that someone will be willing to spend time with me so every single time we talked or hung out, I appreciated it. Bonfires, hiking, longboarding, talking, EATING, sleeping, watching movies on our movie theatre-style couches, hot tub, pool (it was a one-time affair really, way too cold), ETC. Basically, all you really need to know is that I took easier classes so I wasn't so stressed (I seriously considered dropping out for a semester to backpack through Europe) and it totally paid off. I met some amazing people who I loved getting to know and hopefully I will see them again when I live in Alta because I'll have a car (and my legs, it's only like a block over) and I plan on hot tub hopping.
It's getting down to the wire with my mission prep. This has been a very complicated decision for me. I am preparing to go full-force with it but there is a person who is really unique to me and I am intrigued enough to want to spend more time with said person before I fully commit to my mission. Talk to me in person if you want to know more. :)
I just got back from spending 4 full days babysitting/housesitting my two young cousins (5 and 3) and it was a blast. No, really. I love being in charge and being a "mom" catered to that idea completely. I got to make decisions constantly like: what food I made for them, how much tv time, how much play time, where we went for picnics, how the fort should be built (just kidding, they had a little bit of say), how much time we spent at the library, the list goes on. I really hope it's like that when I'm a mom because it was flipping fun. And I felt like I had super patience, considering that I'm not a particularly patient person, but I was super calm but had positive energy CONSTANTLY. Not to brag, but I was awesome. You all should seriously try it sometime, it made me excited to have my own kids. Ok, this is probably TMI but I'm not big into the filter lately. After all, April is Honesty Month! I'm going to be honest with myself and others about what is really important to me and how I feel about other people. I took a class at Disney (yep, it was a fru-fru class) but I had time to think about some cool things and one of the things the teacher talked about was to simply nix all of the crappy stuff in your life. Seriously let me throw in some cliches: YOLO, life is too short to spend it with people who don't deserve your time, live like you're dying, life is like a box of chocolates. Ok, the last one wasn't as relevant but I just wanted to address it: usually the boxes of chocolate that I buy have a menu thing on the back so I actually DO know what I'm going to get. I like to think of life as a grab bag from Plato's Closet. (do they still have those?)
Current obsession: Charlie the Perfect Dog. I am in deep trouble. I have fallen in love with a dog that I am not even guaranteed to adopt. I have to wait for the application to process and then a house visit (oh my gosh I need to plaster my bedroom walls with pictures of dogs asap so they know I'm serious) but it's basically blasphemous how much I adore this dog. It's a sheepadoodle (I know, cute) and this is what it looks like 
That link should basically tell you how cute and perfect Charlie is, soon to be renamed Charli or Charly. (calm down Court, you don't own her yet) But anywho I'm going to just continue enjoying my time as a free spirit while I don't have school or work responsibilities. I am planning on working out now (never know when I'll see the hot neighbor this summer), then going to horseback riding with my sister, then dindin, then SKYPE with some of my favorite people ever: Lily, Alisa, and Natalie. If you want in, text me peeps. I will be looking rough though since I can't locate tweezers to tame my eyebrows so just accept that it's a wild day. Btw, the pics are ones I added in from some of my favorite things right now on PINTEREST. I am so Mormon, it's ridiculous but I can't help how fun this thing is, join and follow and I'll follow back.
Toodles, Court

Be Grateful

I tell my family how grateful I am whenever I skype or call them. I show my gratitude through action: "reaching out" texts, doing well in school, attending church activities, and making time to talk to them. I told my family how much I appreciate them because it makes me feel less in debt and because they are so appreciative of my expressions of gratitude. I love how much support I feel from them at all times, even though they are across the country. 

Hungarian Dance: Why So Serious?

I am flattered by the cute way Lowell asked me to the Hungarian Dance, very sweet.
He asked me through a puzzle message which means that he spent time putting together the puzzle so he could write on the back! I love puzzlessss and it was fun putting it together with some roommates and friends. There's a dress swap going on tomorrow which will be nice because I LOVE my royal blue satin dress but I would love to wear something different for another formal dance. My roomies are all going to look lovelyyyy and it was fun trying on their dresses today and all deciding who should wear what dress.

I need to stop being so sensitive to the fact that girls are competitive. Just because I wouldn't suggest things that have potential to make someone sad doesn't mean that they've necessarily thought through all of that also. The fact that the puzzle was the evil queen wasn't a negative thing, it was part of his question. I love my roomies and that's the most important thing.
Next, I want my hair to look fabulous because it's currently the longest it has ever been in my entire life and I have this window of opportunity while one of my roommates is a fresh graduate from Marinello's School of Beauty and she loves playing with hair. Let's get braid-crazy, shall we?
By the way, I started writing a book that I'm going to keep completely to myself for a few years, possibly. I just want to nurture and prune it based solely on my own opinion until the very end because people are not always tactful and I don't want this to cause me anxiety.
Exciting news: got a letter from Jerr-Bear today. :) (please ignore how crazed I look, it's almost 3 am) It was a great letter and he was so thoughtful to send me a row of stamps so I don't have to go crazy looking for stamps to mail his letters!! He's currently in the city of Gaoxiang which he says is one of the most polluted cities in the world, so he can barely see an 85-story tall building that is within view of his apartment. It made me really happy to get his letter & it makes me feel content to type out all of the above information also.
I really must get some sleep, I'm waking up tomorrow to work-out (probably just Abs Core Plus because I want my waist to look fabulous for the dress) and then go to the TA lab for Finance and have an overall relaxing day. Love, Courtney