There is Always a Lot to Say.

We are all in the midst of the holiday season. There is a lot going on with all of us, I don't feel guilty in the slightest about taking a little time to pen my thoughts.

First of all, happy anniversary Mom and Dad! They are the reason I believe in true love, know what to expect from my husband, and my biggest cheerleaders for my life choices. Congratulations on 23 years of marriage and I love both of you like crazy cakes.

I'm feeling gluttonous of late, probably a sign of dehydration. I encourage all of you to drink extra water during this season, it will help your health in many ways.

For Christmas I got a lot of useful gift cards and some money, practical for my upcoming mission. I cannot wait for my mission to Tahiti! I have several items of clothing for Tahiti but the catch is that I'll need to pack winter clothes for my time in Provo UT MTC.

You know who I think is awesome? Jennifer Lawrence. She is beautiful (dime a dozen in Hollywood) but also really enjoys her life. And it's clear why: she has a great sense of humor and she realizes the value of being healthy (physically and mentally).

I may have met my soul mate. Possibly. I am a hopeless romantic so it's possible that I'm overdramatizing this, but I know that this person made me realize what a soul mate would be like. I don't know his name, but we talked on the airplane from Rochester to Cleveland. He goes to the Rochester Institute of Technology to study Optical Engineering. He is a blonde (not typically my type, I usually go for dark or foreign/exotic) but with a handsome face. I was not expecting to talk to him, we just threw around a few lackluster comments at the beginning of the flight and then I was planning on sleeping but we ended up talking the whole flight about really interesting things, almost hitting the highlights of our favorite thoughts. He doesn't like comedians who end up yelling to make something funny, he understands what I mean about Anne Hathaway's acting. He didn't agree for the sake of pleasantry, he actually meant it and further explained what I thought. He wasn't trying to make me like him and vice versa. I didn't have to explain things that didn't make sense when I said them, he knew what I meant. We talked about ideas and people. He is very intelligent. We talked intelligently. It was a beautiful thing. I have no idea what to do with this information other than save it here and remember how I felt like we'd known each other for a long time.

My parents are out to dinner and I'm in charge of my little sister Lindsay and she wants to look at pictures of dogs, so I must away. Per usual, lots more thoughts but it is what it is.

Au revoir, Court

At My Marriage Reception: I Got You.

I have loved this dance for over a year and here's a secret: I want to do this dance with my husband at our wedding reception: Leona Lewis- I Got You.
P.S. I love Melanie & Marko in this. :)

So You Think You Can Dance: I Got You

Exam Week, Kinda Bleak.

There you go, yet another by-product short poem brought to you by Courtney's Tired Brain.

I have been awake since 4 am, studying for my 11:00 scheduled Political Science 200 exam. During that time I gave a girl a ride to work & I drove/walked through snow. Fortunately I was wearing my waterproof, oil slick-resistant, steel-toed hiking boots that I just rediscovered under my bed. Yes, there is quite a bit of snow. I am actually home now, possibly for the rest of the day because I almost hit a pole while driving because my car didn't turn very well.

I have the exciting prospect of attending Andrea & Connors' wedding on the 22nd! Thrilled that I can be the Maid of Honor, in attendance. I'm doing pretty well in all aspects of shutting down my residency at Alta Apartments, just have to finish doing about...6 loads of laundry of clothes I don't ever wear. (I want them to be in good condition for giving them away, of course.)

I'm actually less tired from all of the studying I have been doing and more tired from all of the time thinking about the importance of the final exam grade. Gah.

I'm watching Charlie Brown Christmas for the first time ever, pretty good so far! I didn't realize that this famous song was from this movie. "Of all the Charlie Browns in the world, you're the Charlie Browniest!" :)

Seriously concerned that I don't love my family members enough, sometimes. Like I'm seriously more excited to see my puppy more than anything else when I go home in 5 days! Is that wrong? I just know that I don't have to impress my puppy and she loves me anyway. I don't have to defend the guys I date to her either, she just assumes that I have valid reasons. Is this crazy talk? Possibly.

I hope everyone is enjoying the Christmas season! Lucy is on to something, I should charge for my therapeutic insight and observation. Ailurophasia is the fear of cats, I know someone with that. Pantophobia is the fear of everything! Ok, I like Lucy. I want real estate for Christmas also! Or just cash. Please, please, please just give me the monetary value of whatever you were thinking of getting me. :P

Here is the secret to enjoying Christmas: give. Make people around you happier, your work is never done. Right now I'm working on a quote book for someone and it has completely turned around my mood from stressed and distracted to peaceful. Did you know that PEACE is the only feeling that the Devil cannot replicate?

Have a happy week!!
Courty

Let Kids be Kids.

I have a few thoughts that come from a very personal place. I have always had a very healthy self-image. I can attribute much of this to the "plain Jane" style of my Mom. My mom has a lot of natural beauty and I always told my friends how pretty my mom was. In a lot of pictures of me as a toddler I actually look like a little boy. I'm so glad that my mom didn't put the idea of "image is everything" into my head. If kids want to look pretty, make "ants on a log" for a healthy snack or get them into sports. I will dress my kids up, but I will never dress them up to look like mini versions of celebrities or teenagers. I think it's cute to play "dress up" but when a toddler is giving fashion advice, I really think that's teaching them the wrong priorities and that's not okay. A lot of girls in America today have image issues because their parents set bad examples and/or it is expected that they looked a certain way. If you start that early, they'll have problems earlier.

I don't mean to come across as extreme, but I really think that there is a time and place when girls should wear make up and wear trendy clothes to school. That time shouldn't happen until they date, ideally.

In short: dressing up kids for play or for a cutesy photo is fine, but don't make them feel like that is when they are the prettiest and don't send them to school like this. 

11,000 Views: Thank You

I just wanted to announce a mile-marker: I checked Stats and my blog has been viewed over 11,000 times!!!! That is really cool! I guess I'll try and be more serious and grown-up in my posts.
Did you know M&M's chocolate stands for the initials for its inventors Mars and Murrie? :)
Good night.
Coco <3

Nothing but Blue Skies: the Color Code

Au contraire, it is quite gray (grey) and overcast today but I feel happy of myself.

No, I'm not being super productive with my schoolwork. No, I haven't taken a shower today.

However, I am knocking out some quizzes & I took a shower last night! HAH for all you judgers out there.

Seriously, I would like to discuss the Color Code: Personality Test. This generation is obsessed with who they are, what their skills are, personal branding, all that sort of thing. Personality tests are yet another tool to craft identity. I would like to throw out the possibility that you are not just one personality. Not a completely original idea but I want you to fully realize the actual concept.

I'm going to let that settle for just a moment, marinate if you will.

This means that the reason personality tests don't completely describe you is because you most likely act differently in different situations and with different people. I am equally comprised of all four colors in the color code book. Not impossible, but more probable than you might have previously thought.

I was frustrated when I took the test and found myself not being able to give an answer I felt really got it more than the others. Is this true for you? I have also found that I self-analyze (not self-criticize or demean) more so than most people with whom I have talked. I have improved a lot of weak areas throughout my life. I believe that there is a balanced place that is a healthy mix of all the colors. I really am not egotistical. I simply have an honesty with myself about what I need to work on vs. my strengths. I can honestly say that I am almost at a place where I am versatile enough that I can be the best of different personalities, whichever best suits the situation. 

I Look So Hipster Right Now.

Today is Monday, the 3rd of December, in the year two thousand and twelve. I have been 21 for a month now & I feel great. I have the best friends in the world, I am going to one of the best schools in the world, (the best for my spirituality def), best family in the universe, the best mission call in the world (Tahiti speaking Tahitian and French), and the coolest sweater in the thrift store world. I even have headphones (free on an airplane about 5 years ago) slung around my neck.

Also, I know The Secret. The law of attraction is real. It explains all of my luck and the unusual opportunities that have strewn my life's path thus far. I really want to watch Home Alone tonight. By the way, the most recent Winnie the Pooh movie is my current favorite movie. I watched it in French the other night (with English subtitles) and laughed like a loony every time I understand a single French word. By the way, so freaking excited that one of my potential missionary comps is so cool!!! We are interested in exactly the same things and at the same level of excitement, fingers crossed that we will be missionary comps because that would be so awesome.

I am planning on donating plasma in a few hours, wish me luck. The concept sounds so dirty, but the monetary reimbursement is helpful. I am able to stay afloat financially because I have a propensity towards treating myself in small ways. All the time. Perhaps this is why I enjoy life so much.

Anywho, I must leave you now for PoliSciClass.

Courtney

Pointless Assignments are Pointless.

This is definitely a procrastination post. I'm supposed to be writing journal entries for a Marriage Prep class but they're all so BORING and PREDICTABLE and it feels like BUSY WORK. Here are my thoughts on marriage:
Do not read articles about how to make husband/wife happy. It TOTALLY depends on who you marry and who you are as a person.
It will be ridiculously fun to get to know what they are like at all times of the day. If they're grumpy, give them space. Except for if my husband is adorable when he's grumpy, then he might get his face kissed.
I am seriously low-maintenance so I really don't expect a lot from my husband. I will evaluate whether he WANTS to do stuff for me or not. If he does not, I won't marry him probably. I will always be doing stuff for my husband.
We'll both be super attractive all the time because that's what happens when you're in love. I don't have unrealistic expectations, I just believe that you see the beauty in everything a person does when you love them. (Pour example: Channing Tatum plays with his hoodie strings in such a hot way.)
You can't have the rainbows without rain. 'Nough said.
We will talk through things. We will listen. If I'm working on it and he's working on it, we'll get better.

And those are just a few thoughts on my future marriage.
love,
a bored college student

Thanksgiving Mission "Impossible": Accomplished

I am hereby pleased to announce to the virtual assembly room that for the first year ever, I have achieved my lofty objective of not gaining a single ounce when all is said and done with Thanksgiving break.
Thank you, that is all. Please enjoy the refreshments on the banquet table at the back of the room.

Thanksgiving Thoughts

I hope no one thought I was ungrateful because I failed to post my gratitude list on Facebook or elsewhere public. I am very grateful but felt like expressing it differently. I do think this time of year is a good milestone marker to make a list for others as well as myself for things that I appreciate in this fantastic life.
*no particular order
strawberry pie
adorable cousins
a roof over my head
relatives within driving distance who love me
a sister who appreciates my jokes
Pinterest
Amelia Bedelia books
Dr. Seuss books & quotes
beaches
the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints
Mommy & Daddy
sisters
cousins
hair gel
Pixar
modern bathrooms
friends who care
The Great Gatsby
Deseret Industries
scissors
alone time
a mostly-functioning computer
a semi-functioning phone :)
Jane Austen putting pen to paper
Brigham Young University
boys who become men when they take care of the women in their life
intelligence
Mr. Peck's style of teaching
Ryan Gosling in The Notebook
Robert Downey Jr. in Ironman
Nana & Grandpere
Nani & Papa
Grandad Sonny & JuJu
Grandaddy and Grandmother Sandra
James Dean in East of Eden
Giant
Roald Dahl
Harry Potter
Coldstone's mint ice cream
conversations where you learn more about the other person and yourself
well-phrased sentences
Scrabble
Where in Time is Carmen Sandiego?
biotin
Argan oil
silver nail polish
my $8 black pants
my $5 Thanksgiving sweater
Talecris
James Bond/Daniel Craig
door knobs
model homes
fancy bathrooms (I like bathrooms.)
a select few Daily Odd Compliments
blogspot <3
airplanes & airports
Russians
foreigners
snuggling
meaningful kisses
honesty
chocolate pie
my glasses
steak
Zooey Deschanel
Gilmore Girls
Kittyhawk
my foam pillow
Windex
Anne of Green Gables
National Geographic
intelligent, observant, attractive,caring men
handwritten letters
my mission call to Tahiti
temples
prayer
the Book of Mormon
wisdom
vivid dreams

On that note, good night! xoxoxo Courtney Annette

I Wouldn't Trade My Life for Anyone Else's. Not Even Jenna Dewan-Tatum's.

I just got super pumped for Tahiti. I know it was inevitable, being Tahiti and all,  but I was pushed to the verge of excitement by a blog recommended by a new friend, Ana. This is the darling blog right here and I just read it in its entirety. I reallyreallyreally need to finish my Preach My Gospel outline for lesson 3 because it's PAST its due date and I'm still struggling to focus! I just have difficulty preparing a lesson for a grade, there's like this huge mental resistance because I know that once I get out in the mission field, I'll customize the lesson according to the needs of my investigator based on what they ask and how the Spirit directs me. I'M SURE IT'S INSPIRED TO HAVE THIS AS A MISSION PREP ASSIGNMENT. Ok, I should just admit that my work ethic is low for school right now. :) I ain't even mad!

Good night!

Snowball Fights. Snowball Fights Everywhere.

I finally tricked my computer charger into working so I have a short window of opportunity to catch up!

Friday: class at 10 (Will looked good, no surprise there), worked on my practice assignment and then had a homemade turkey avocado sandwich, class at 2 (turned in practice assignment, Will still looked great of course and I had reason to appreciate his appearance because he is the lab teacher), then hung out with Ricky for a few hours! Snowball fight number 1. I got to see part of the Fletcher building where Ricky works on stuff and there were a few nerds hanging out :) It was really cool. Then dinner of... something. (Did I have dinner?? Probably involved Nutella.) Then murder mystery date, dressed up as Bernadette Brown: a pyromaniac artist who is above it all & voted Most Likely To Hang (like in a museum, create a masterpiece). My date was Matt, he was cool and he went as a nerd who had recently become cool. Afterwards, snowball fight outside of the building, number 2. Matt drove me home, power was out in Alta so snowball fight number 3 commenced with a lot of wardies outside the apartments. Fun!

Saturday: woke up earlyyyy (730) to make plasma donation appt, didn't donate until 1 because systems were out (got paid an inconvenience fee!). Watched Back to the Future, James Bond: Casino Royale, and James Bond: Quantum of Solace. Got paid in cash!! Went home, had to change right into football event staff uniform to work at 3! Worked tailgate party (FUN). Snowball fight number 4. Ken got his truck and we stayed inside the warm car unless a car came, then we took turns hopping out and doing our job. The job was freaking cold. The game was great but one-sided, BYU won in a landslide. Pulled the "plasma" card to go home at 11 because I was too freaking cold and my job was helping in the disabilities section but no one needed any help, probably everyone with wheel chairs didn't want to risk the icy walkways. Got Cougar Cash to buy Freschetta pizza and pretzel M&Ms, awesome.

Rest of the night was a bit of a blur, but I think I went to bed at a decent time for Stake Conference the next morning!

xoxo Courty

If School Is my Career, I Don't Have A Lot of Job Security.

So I guess this is a test to see if my parents read my blog. 

I missed three quizzes today. I don't know how else to say this, but I forgot it was Tuesday.

Strange, and I'm not sure if this is a self-defense mechanism, but I feel apathetic. Stressed yes, but I thought abut the response that someone would say who promotes the long-term perspective. I love learning but my grade doesn't usually reflect what I've learned, it reflects how well I have catered to the teacher's expectations. 

I also feel strangely unmotivated to be in journalism or politics. I feel as though my talent is in observation of people and phenomena. I don't need a degree to be a great journalist, the only thing I think I need is experience. School doesn't give you as much experience as it should. I'm learning too much in the classroom about stuff that I could EASILY learn on the job. 

I feel as though my real talent is in the real world. I have positive experiences from my interactions with strangers, with my internship of working in a real office environment and performing real jobs. I may not review my class notes every night when I come home, but I know how to work hard when given a meaningful task.

Your vote, your choice, your decision. Election 2012. I think Obama has this election. I voted for Romney because I think Obama has messed up this economy with radical measures. However, I think there is a chance that Obama's plans just need more time to manifest themselves. I do not believe in higher tax rates for the rich, that's a disincentive for people to succeed. 

We need to support the poor by creating jobs, not by giving them other people's money.

I foresee a reality check for both political parties, regardless of who wins. By the way, ironic that Missouri voted for a Mormon. :)

"Never let formal education get in the way of your learning. Twain, Mark"

Birthday Business

Now is a good time to express gratitude for people.
I know that every person in my life is there for a reason. The people I don't like are preparing me to deal with different personality types. The people I like help me aspire to be my best self.
My birthday stuff:
day before ~
lunch with Fran at the MOA
Cowboy Poetry with Kay, Cherie & others
day of ~
breakfast with Allie at Denny's
proposal helping with Connors, Andi, and Mikey
restaurant and business-hopping with Halers for free birthday stuff (dessert at California Pizza kitchen, sub at Firehouse Subs, dessert at Sizzler, balloon/crown/announcement over the manager walkie talkies, free doughnut at Krispy Kreme, and drink at Rubio's)
dinner at Panda Express with Halers (I really love you, Hale.)
henna with Hales
started watching Robin Hood: Men in Tights, then switched to watch part of Tron
scripture reading
day after~
birthday wishes at church (saw Alisa, Hailey and Wyatt from the Raintree meeting right before)
birthday shared with roomie Sam, open door with ward for pumpkin pie and cake at our apt
birthday song by ward acapella group

And that's the end of today. :)
I really really enjoy all of the small things as well as the big things. I have thoroughly appreciated the kind words and thoughts of everyone that have been sent my way, it is awesome to be 21!

School tomorrow, I ain't even mad.

love, Courtney

Pleasant People

I really really like meeting new people. I also enjoy etiquette. Therefore, it can be inferred that I thoroughly enjoyed the etiquette dinner tonight. Scrump-diddly-umptious.

I have had a blast for the past week. Hailey & Alisa + Other People, you guys are so fun. <3 <3

Birthday in 24 hours and 31 minutes!!! I really want it to be relaxed and casual, and so far, so good. Lunch tomorrow with Fran, Cowboy Poetry tomorrow night with Kay. <3

Also, Sandy is destructive. Be safe, East Coasters and don't underestimate Mother Nature. Praying for all of you.

<3

A Picture Says a Thousand Words

I got my mission call to Tahiti!

I have also been researching Tahiti like crazy since then...maybe instead of studying.

I learned how to ride a motorcycle and got to get into second gear after an hour and a half! SO FUN. 

Happy Halloween, people. :) Partyin', partyin', yeah.

So much more, but these are the highlights. 

xoxo, Court

Please Do Not Be Offended if You Fall in this Category

I have been in a funky mood for most of the afternoon but I am in a good place right now. So this will be an observation rather than a rant.
Provo Culture: a culture of Happy Valley in which ecstatic joy is the default emotion and people are exceptionally kind. HOWEVER there is judgment, hypocrisy, ditziness, superficiality, predictable conversation, and relatively insignificant hardships.
I say this out of love. Tough love.
There is an extraordinary amount of sameness about most people which I find myself slipping into. I want to quit school, travel somewhere far away, and write my soul out.
So I'm doing the next best, socially-acceptable, selfless thing- going on a mission to Tahiti. And I am so happy. (Did I mention how excited I am to get to know the beautiful people of Tahiti? I'm going to be so much better for this mission because I will be completely outwardly-focused for so long.)
It's high time for a break from P-town. I am thoroughly in love with the mountains, several people (you know who you are), and my school but sometimes the "culture" drives me up a wall.
These people are mostly good, sweet people. They are not all like this all of the time. I just wish people would be real more often.
I know you're supposed to "be happier than you feel" and I get that, but sometimes my eyes water because the squeal-talking is so high-pitched. This is not a joke.
I consider myself one of the happiest people on this planet but I don't feel the need to be excited about every single thing all the time. That's just not sane.
I sincerely hope that my opinion is taken in moderation with what you know about me as a person and with an understanding that I come from a very different place in life. I just simply could not abide living like this for the rest of my life.
I believe too much personal growth and progress is stunted here in a chronic attempt to be loved and adored rather than risk putting yourself out there by saying how you really feel and having a real response to various stimuli.

I was told earlier tonight about a guy who is really intriguing who dropped out of school and I actually admire  that honesty to yourself.

No Mom and Dad, I would never drop out of school permanently. But I would definitely take a break from this crazy town.
Provo, it's a love-hate thing. But for now, peace and love.
Court

"Tiny Break" #1623893

I am taking my eleven-hundredth-million "tiny" break today from the beast that is Poli Sci 200 and thought I would write.
When I signed in, it showed some data of my blogs and said this blog has been viewed 10,350ish times. Dang. Who are all of you people? I'm super flattered. Maybe I just have a dedicated stalker, in that case, hi again.
So when I get deep in the zone of studying, I become a slightly different person. I find myself behaving somewhat like a cat: craving a glass of milk, eating tuna out of the can (with a fork though), and taking cat naps.
I have like 10 pages left of this thing. I am writing about the government structures of India and China and their enforcement of environmental policies and the effect of this on business. I have possibly over-stretched myself on this one. I made myself laugh earlier when I realized what a seriously big and complex topic this was and I said, "I am dealing with some big fish here!" Then I had a silent laugh about it. In case you were wondering, no I haven't been outside at all today.
I weirdly enjoy difficult classes but in this situation, it is really a blow to the ego because I have to look up every tiny detail because I am just not an expert on these two countries. Whatsoever.
As a side note, Romney has my vote. If you feel like this warrants a "delete" on Facebook, I understand that you felt like you had to do that. I just really don't think Obama knows how to do math very well and Romney used to be weirdish but he is actually very intelligent and pretty darn funny sometimes. (Al Smith dinner)
I like how my hair looks right now, it naturally went into a chic ponytail. Like, I have woken up early on school days to achieve this look with very little success and now that I am imprisoned by homework, my hair bounced right into place. Miley Cyrus hair: can't be tamed.
Feeling pretty good about my life, going to Tahiti on a mission, in case you hadn't heard! I am absolutely romantically thrilled with the opportunity to learn TWO languages: Tahitian and French. My mission call says Tahitian, but I have spoken with many people and French is apparently just as common. Yay!!
On several "tiny breaks" I have practiced my French and my accent is pretty good, I think. I just need more vocabulary. There are only so many times you can say "Je ne parle pas francais mais j'adore paris! in an impeccable accent before you grow weary.
Ok time for my orange jell-o (dinner), it is 5:01 which means I met my goal to not eat it until after 5:00.
Au revoir! A bientot!
amor, Courtney

Advice for Life

Just a few thoughts for the world, not everyone needs this but I have observed a few things during my time on this planet that have worked for me.

1. Never make a weird association with someone's name. They have to live with their name after you finish talking, that stuff bothers people regardless of who you are. (same concept true for pointing out oddities with their body or personality)

2. Never criticize a person who has a crush on your friend. Especially not to your friend. No one wants to think that losers like them.

3. Attractive and sensitive people tend to get teased more than their fair share. I hesitate to say this but I really think that there is a weird phenomena of not letting people know they're attractive because you worry that they won't want to be associated with you anymore. Attractive people, acknowledge this and don't take it so hard next time. 

4. When you're in an unpleasant situation, don't waste time wishing you were somewhere else. You can actually train your mind to not imagine "I wish I was... instead." Be in the moment and make the best of it you can, learn something from it. 

5. If you really care about someone who is no longer in your life, you might have some unanswered questions. Ask them as soon as possible. Trying to explain things with your imagination will drive you crazy. (note to self)

6. Don't carry on a friendship if it starts tainting your positive memories with that person. Be there for that person when they go through something difficult but know when it's bringing you down as well. Hang on to the good memories. 

7. Don't have a crush on your TA in a really difficult class like Political Science. It makes assignments that much more stressful because you know that person will be grading it. Just don't put yourself through that. 

8. Be nice to your family randomly. It makes life so fun to get a random text or call the moment someone thinks about you or misses you. This works for friends also, but make sure family is a priority. 

9. Never assume you can make a quick trip to the library or whatever and dress accordingly. YOU WILL SEE PEOPLE YOU LIKE. 

10. It's okay to be in awe of your friends sometimes. Appreciate when someone lets you in your life, even if just for a few minutes, they didn't have to do that. 

LIFE IS BEAUTIFUL: Inspired by "Take Me Home"

If you REALLY want to understand me a little better, read it. If you only read a little bit then that's okay also. If you don't read it at all, you'll get it from spending enough time with me. Take the time.

I am Courtney Carter. I am an introvert but an extrovert when I want to be. I am happiest when I'm driving somewhere or doing something I have never done before. I prefer doing these things with people I love but I am perfectly happy by myself. I don't need a lot, just love and support and I'll show you my best. Sometimes my weird moods are out of my control and I just have to function through it and sometimes I say things I don't mean. I desperately would love to be in a Sundance Film Festival type of movie, no make up. I want to fall in love. I have loved before, but I know there's more to it. I love country music with details in the lyrics. I can't really sing in front of people without music, but I have sounded good several times when I've been by myself. You're just going to have to take my word for it. :) I love being Mormon so much. I am proud to be associated with successful, happy people and it makes me feel fulfilled when I see happy families. I don't agree with Provo culture where guys think they're sweetstuff because they served a mission and they deserve a girl that is prettier than they are handsome and the girl just wants to get married to make babies. I don't think that's how it's supposed to go, exactly. I believe in true love. I believe I deserve someone that amazes me. I love reading more than almost anything else. My favorite place in the world is a clean bathroom and a mirror, no particular one. I love road trips so much that it almost doesn't matter where I'm going. I could be going to the grocery store, I just like driving places. I do not like running. I like the ellyptical and eating healthy foods, but I just imagine my knee cartilage wearing down and that makes me distressed. I am obsessed with old people. I love talking to strangers. I overthink how I appear to my crush and my friends. I know that I'm talking with a true friend when I completely forget about how I look and how they look and I'm completely thinking about what we're talking about. I like that moment when you have a great conversation with someone and come out of the conversation so happy to have found someone who gets you, at least in a small part. I enjoy analyzing people. I constantly analyze romantic relationships around me. I daydream about how to get on the Ellen show and what I would say that would show the world how beautiful life is and how every person is so exciting. I want to get on national news for something so people can add to conversations by saying how they knew me. I don't think life is simple, I think it's really complex. I am obsessed with naming my future kids, for girls I like Olivia, Sylvia, Diana, Lydia, Julia. For boy names I like Parker, Hunter, Cooper, Carter, Alexander. I want a guy who can take me in different moods and in different lifestyles. When I travel, I want to get lost somewhere off the beaten track. I rarely get specific directions because I enjoy figuring it out. I like knowing the gas mileage of the car I'm driving. Preferably as I'm driving. I like the cars that have "miles to go" before the gas tank is empty. I am a hopeless romantic. I love foreigners. I think it is so sexy when a guy is really smart. The word for that is sapiosexual. I love the smell of a bike shop. I love the smell of a new car, leather shoes, new books, my hair. I love everything bohemian. There was a "Say Yes to the Dress" Randy special where a Dallas cowgirl chose a boho chic dress/hair/make up ensemble and I LOVED it. I love having long hair. I wish I had more time to do stuff with my hair. I learned how to do a fishtail braid when a girl was braiding her friend's hair in a church devotional two rows in front of me. I have a bad habit of looking people in the eyes when I'm walking around. Sometimes I have to remind myself to fidget or blink when I'm talking to people because I'm so focused on what they're saying. I worry a lot that I talk too much about myself in conversations, but sometimes that's the only relevant response I can think about. I am fascinated by people who are really different from me. I want to learn everyone's life history. I love Rachel Weisz and a Fine Frenzy's make up is so pretty. I love when people tell me about themselves. I notice other people's eyes. Not necessarily the color, but how I feel about them. I get so thrilled every time someone gives me a compliment. I rarely remember what people wear, I barely remember what I wore the day before. I love talking and talking with people who have new thoughts. I love people with a wry sense of humor. I like big words and I like people who use big words. I like literary references, I wish I knew more. My memory for names is really good if I have seen it written. I have a photographic memory: I can visualize where I've seen it written and how it's written. I want to go skydiving. I love my family so much. I want to wait a few years to have kids with my husband because I want us to have our relationship all to ourselves for a little bit before it changes into something else. I cannot wait to have kids, I will probably have a ton of them because I think kids are the coolest/funniest beings ever. Also, I'm going to be an awesome mom and I think guys are so attractive when they're good with kids so I'll be hopelessly in love with my husband when we have kids. I believe in savoring moments and taking things slow to appreciate incremental changes. I love people who give hugs and play with hands and are close when you're talking, not in a romantic or flirty way, just with friends. I need closure and I need questions answered or else it drives me insane. I need to know why things happen. I love chocolate soy milk. My tongue swells up when I have too much processed sugar. I get stressed when I'm supposed to work out in a group. My eyes change color depending on distance, what I'm wearing, and/or how I feel. They're mostly green but are gray when I'm really mad. I enjoy playing volleyball. I am flattered and so happy that I'm the Ward Volleyball Captain. I need about 8 hours of sleep a night. I can easily stay up late but I usually get weird and discombobulated if I maintain a haphazard sleeping pattern. I enjoy thinking about big questions and serious topics. I imagine what type of politician I would be. I rarely consult a recipe to cook unless I'm cooking for other people. I think Nutella is one of the best things invented. I don't crave bacon like the rest of the population apparently does. I don't think I've ever had a super strict routine for how I do anything. I rarely have matching socks. I really love walking long distances. I love taking pictures because it's hard to predict exactly how it's going to turn out. I love people who don't have to talk all the time. I am sometimes too aware of people's presence, just in general, and I think I send out vibes to push people away and I don't know why. I love breezes and being cold at night. I usually have vivid dreams. I read Fox News and CNN. Truthfully, I think I'm a Libertarian but I don't want to throw away my vote. Details matter. I think the most attractive guys are gorgeous, intelligent, and observant. I rarely listen to music when I drive, usually it's off. When it's on I like to listen to classical, jazz, foreign, country, or a song I can really sing with. I usually say the right thing but I don't like having to do it for a long period of time. I like being able to go from completely serious to laughing to completely serious again. I'm fully aware of my worth and I will be picky about who I marry. Also, I refuse to feel stressed about not being engaged. I'm 20 years old. I am going on a mission and that is going to make me better. I want to marry someone who will travel with me and get lost and hold me and get my humor and just look me in the eyes without talking sometimes. I am so excited about everything I have done and all that I'm going to do. I just watched "Take Me Home" and movies like that make me fall in love with life all over again. I don't even care if that's cheesy, that's how I feel about it. I love people who take the time to stick through the "nothing" times and the "crazy fun" times to understand who I really am.
xoxoxox Courtney

Current Thoughts: "What is going on?"

I have felt every conceivable emotion in the past few days. I have loved seeing Janani, Meagan, Laura, and skyping with Steven and Lily!! I have sent out roughly 40 job applications and have an interview for 10 AM tomorrow lined up with Hardee's for a biscuit-maker job. This might possibly conflict with an opportunity I have to work at a daycare with a woman from church. Emotions involved: initially repelled from Hardee's lack of good food and fast food environment, grateful to hear back from SOMEBODY, stressed about possibly not getting another job, anxiety over the fact that I may have missed a babysitting opportunity by waiting an extra day to hear back from another babysitting offer, sadness that my parents keep giving advice that condemns my current plan of action, uncertainty about whether my parent's constant questioning is in fact squelching my self-motivation, and general weariness at the prospect of uncertain hours at Tropical Smoothie for the rest of the summer. I also am trying to suppress feelings of resentment that my parents wanted me to stay home for the summer because they missed me but I may have missed big opportunities in Washington, D.C. or in Utah. I love my family but the job situation is starting to take its toll on not only my motivation but also on my energy level. Ughhhhhhhh.

Anywho, my roadtrip to visit my Nana and Grandpere is a much-needed break from these emotions. I love my grandparents and I hope that I will not be too melancholy. I have never worried about being able to control my emotions at will, but recently I have seen how it has disrupted my natural conversation style and it worries me that I am not able to put things out of my mind completely when interacting with non-related people. I should probably clean my room but I have to do it when I have the motivation and that motivation is depleted whenever it is mentioned so it's a delicate balance between allowing enough time to pass after my parents bring it up and genuinely being in the mood before they bring it up again. I love my parents and I respect them but I'm realizing that time spent at college has frozen my abilities and personality in their mind while I have been gone and now that I'm back, I feel as though my character is regressing slightly because they don't know how I've grown so I have to constantly reassert who I am and that is driving me crazy. My sister Hali and I get along much better now than we did when I first came home. I think the key is to just be the person I know I am and letting the rest of the family catch up with it. 

I am also consumed by thoughts of my mission and its implications. There is a fascinating person in my life that overwhelms me with his potential and our potential for a synergistic relationship but this cannot be determined until we are together. I just deleted a large portion of what I wrote because it's so personal that I should not post it in a public blog. Just know that if you see me and I seem to have erratic behavior or mannerisms that it is a direct result of the intense pressure of my current life. 

I must bid adieu to get dressed for work and possibly jog in place for a minute to amp up my energy levels. I have an amazing life and I must be so careful to appreciate everything in it, so I close now with my reassertion that I am grateful for this job and I will do a good job today at blending those smoothies. :)

Court 

Wearing Over-Sized Cat Shirt, Will Write.

Ooooooooooook. I'm a lazy writer. Bite me.

So life is kind of busy and sometimes I like doing easybrain things like scroll through my Fbook newsfeed and get short-term highs from funny gifs on Tumblr.

So I had a weird dream last night that I am suddenly forgetting about... I mainly remember that there was a lot of dark blue, black, and illicit activities. A lot of action. And I had to sneak around so the bad guys wouldn't see me. Why do we forget our dreams so quickly? I think it should be a mandatory life activity to write about our dreams as soon as we wake up, before we think about anything else. This should be so important that it can be used as a viable excuse for being late to other appointments and activities. I want to be a professional kookologist or whatever the name is for a professional dream analyzer. Our dreams are our subconscious working through the stuff we think about while we're awake. Do I have a secret desire to be involved in illicit activities?? Maybe.

Update on my life in 20 words: Tropsmoo worker again, planning roadtrip to DisneyWorld, goldendoodle puppy in two weeks, writing a book, intense thinking about my life. Any other questions? Text, comment, or email me.

ANYWHO, I have been doing some serious career analysis. This may or may not have been brought on by my being turned down by Chipotle in lieu of another candidate who was more qualified. FOR CHIPOTLE?! How hard can it be to ask "Black beans or baked beans?", hear "black beans", and scoop black beans onto a burrito?? Apparently too difficult according to a review of my current qualifications.. It's no big deal really, I just can't believe how crazy it is to get a job. I'm happy with my job, but 45 applications later and still nothing super promising. Two major roadblocks: I can't be a waitress because I'm not old enough to serve alcohol and I'm only looking for a summer job so I can't continue work after August. Enough of this rant.

The Olympics start on July 27th! I am so excited to chill on the couch and eat candy while I watch it. Actually I'm going to do something new, I plan on doing a (severely) modified version of the event I'm watching so I can feel a 1/1000th of their experience. I have made an exciting self-discovery: I never feel guilty while watching television because I am constantly analyzing whatever I am watching. I consciously file away portions of what I watch to either support or dismiss prior opinions. I just make sure I watch as little junk as possible (Bravo in moderation).

So if you're still reading, you must be kind of obsessed with me so I'll continue with some more of my observations about myself. I'm kind of at a standstill with the books I'm reading because "Zero Day" by David Baldacci I fear has some scary stuff forthcoming (based on what I've read so far) and the other one "Wheel of Time" or something like that, has weird names for everyone and the characters behave abnormally. It was given to me by this really cool guy that I met at a hot tub though and the book is adorably duct-taped back together because he has read it so much so I'm going to get through the book no matter what.

My mom just came in to see what I was doing and when I told her I was updating my blogs, she gave me a severely disapproving look that I had multiple public blogs. I think my parents are sometimes confused by me.

I worked out today at the gym today and I feel great! I've been working out quite a bit since being home and my job requires me to either stand or walk so I consider it a form of non-sedentary behavior, which is a plus. This guy kept showing up at a machine nearby whenever I moved around the gym, which was either coincidence or a form of flattery. I looked like a hot mess though so I think we can safely assume that he has a hottie crush on me. It is so strange how differently I write, from how I think, from how I speak.

Mom just told me that I have a good memory for books, ok she gets me.

Ok I'm going to do some more soul-searching as I either make a valiant attempt at the books or chillax on netflix with a foreign documentary or chat with Mumzie. I didn't write a lot of what I intended to write, but I am pleased with the fact that I made it here and jotted down a few alphabetical characters.

Ciao! xoxo Coco

Wow. I am seriously a slacker writer sometimes. Well I don't have a time-turner so let's just pick it up from this point and sally forth.

I had so much fun this past year, sophomore year was nutso. I have amazing roommates Natalie, Hailey, Alisa, and Kay who I just met when we moved in to our Raintree apt and they are SO much fun! I am such a dork when it comes to friends, I never assume that someone will be willing to spend time with me so every single time we talked or hung out, I appreciated it. Bonfires, hiking, longboarding, talking, EATING, sleeping, watching movies on our movie theatre-style couches, hot tub, pool (it was a one-time affair really, way too cold), ETC. Basically, all you really need to know is that I took easier classes so I wasn't so stressed (I seriously considered dropping out for a semester to backpack through Europe) and it totally paid off. I met some amazing people who I loved getting to know and hopefully I will see them again when I live in Alta because I'll have a car (and my legs, it's only like a block over) and I plan on hot tub hopping.
It's getting down to the wire with my mission prep. This has been a very complicated decision for me. I am preparing to go full-force with it but there is a person who is really unique to me and I am intrigued enough to want to spend more time with said person before I fully commit to my mission. Talk to me in person if you want to know more. :)
I just got back from spending 4 full days babysitting/housesitting my two young cousins (5 and 3) and it was a blast. No, really. I love being in charge and being a "mom" catered to that idea completely. I got to make decisions constantly like: what food I made for them, how much tv time, how much play time, where we went for picnics, how the fort should be built (just kidding, they had a little bit of say), how much time we spent at the library, the list goes on. I really hope it's like that when I'm a mom because it was flipping fun. And I felt like I had super patience, considering that I'm not a particularly patient person, but I was super calm but had positive energy CONSTANTLY. Not to brag, but I was awesome. You all should seriously try it sometime, it made me excited to have my own kids. Ok, this is probably TMI but I'm not big into the filter lately. After all, April is Honesty Month! I'm going to be honest with myself and others about what is really important to me and how I feel about other people. I took a class at Disney (yep, it was a fru-fru class) but I had time to think about some cool things and one of the things the teacher talked about was to simply nix all of the crappy stuff in your life. Seriously let me throw in some cliches: YOLO, life is too short to spend it with people who don't deserve your time, live like you're dying, life is like a box of chocolates. Ok, the last one wasn't as relevant but I just wanted to address it: usually the boxes of chocolate that I buy have a menu thing on the back so I actually DO know what I'm going to get. I like to think of life as a grab bag from Plato's Closet. (do they still have those?)
Current obsession: Charlie the Perfect Dog. I am in deep trouble. I have fallen in love with a dog that I am not even guaranteed to adopt. I have to wait for the application to process and then a house visit (oh my gosh I need to plaster my bedroom walls with pictures of dogs asap so they know I'm serious) but it's basically blasphemous how much I adore this dog. It's a sheepadoodle (I know, cute) and this is what it looks like 
That link should basically tell you how cute and perfect Charlie is, soon to be renamed Charli or Charly. (calm down Court, you don't own her yet) But anywho I'm going to just continue enjoying my time as a free spirit while I don't have school or work responsibilities. I am planning on working out now (never know when I'll see the hot neighbor this summer), then going to horseback riding with my sister, then dindin, then SKYPE with some of my favorite people ever: Lily, Alisa, and Natalie. If you want in, text me peeps. I will be looking rough though since I can't locate tweezers to tame my eyebrows so just accept that it's a wild day. Btw, the pics are ones I added in from some of my favorite things right now on PINTEREST. I am so Mormon, it's ridiculous but I can't help how fun this thing is, join and follow and I'll follow back.
Toodles, Court

Be Grateful

I tell my family how grateful I am whenever I skype or call them. I show my gratitude through action: "reaching out" texts, doing well in school, attending church activities, and making time to talk to them. I told my family how much I appreciate them because it makes me feel less in debt and because they are so appreciative of my expressions of gratitude. I love how much support I feel from them at all times, even though they are across the country. 

Hungarian Dance: Why So Serious?

I am flattered by the cute way Lowell asked me to the Hungarian Dance, very sweet.
He asked me through a puzzle message which means that he spent time putting together the puzzle so he could write on the back! I love puzzlessss and it was fun putting it together with some roommates and friends. There's a dress swap going on tomorrow which will be nice because I LOVE my royal blue satin dress but I would love to wear something different for another formal dance. My roomies are all going to look lovelyyyy and it was fun trying on their dresses today and all deciding who should wear what dress.

I need to stop being so sensitive to the fact that girls are competitive. Just because I wouldn't suggest things that have potential to make someone sad doesn't mean that they've necessarily thought through all of that also. The fact that the puzzle was the evil queen wasn't a negative thing, it was part of his question. I love my roomies and that's the most important thing.
Next, I want my hair to look fabulous because it's currently the longest it has ever been in my entire life and I have this window of opportunity while one of my roommates is a fresh graduate from Marinello's School of Beauty and she loves playing with hair. Let's get braid-crazy, shall we?
By the way, I started writing a book that I'm going to keep completely to myself for a few years, possibly. I just want to nurture and prune it based solely on my own opinion until the very end because people are not always tactful and I don't want this to cause me anxiety.
Exciting news: got a letter from Jerr-Bear today. :) (please ignore how crazed I look, it's almost 3 am) It was a great letter and he was so thoughtful to send me a row of stamps so I don't have to go crazy looking for stamps to mail his letters!! He's currently in the city of Gaoxiang which he says is one of the most polluted cities in the world, so he can barely see an 85-story tall building that is within view of his apartment. It made me really happy to get his letter & it makes me feel content to type out all of the above information also.
I really must get some sleep, I'm waking up tomorrow to work-out (probably just Abs Core Plus because I want my waist to look fabulous for the dress) and then go to the TA lab for Finance and have an overall relaxing day. Love, Courtney

Well If This Isn't Nice, I Don't Know What Is

Things that I really love:
tie dye clothes
spectacular photography
fall asleep in the sun
wearing trendy clothes
reading books that I can't put down
long talks
taking showers
painting my nails
good hair days
compliments
making plans with my family
making money
white, flowy sheets and blankets
long, descriptive words that mean exactly what i need
speaking Arabic
hearing people laugh
wedding dress shopping
BYU
the smell of leather
the smell of paint
pyjamas
wondering if I have a soulmate
anything romantic
animals
kids with personalities
making something new from random ingredients I have
news reports on the middle east
hugs
my visiting teaching calling
thinking about my mission
the color sage green
saying "I love you" to people I love
thinking about good book ideas
having time to ponder
reading scriptures
sharing my testimony
the color silver
clunker cars
bohemian culture
England
Germany
Mexico
Australia
North Carolina
France
clean socks
flat stomach
snuggling
boys who talk
expressing myself coherently
Enya
sleepovers
blanket forts
strings of lights
nerds
being nerdy with people
my glasses
helping other people
intelligent people
bonfires
the night
the day
having people appreciate me for who I am
kissing
getting back massages
the movie Warrior
when I'm witty
reconnecting with old friends who act like no time has passed at all
dreaming
<3 Court

Valentine's Day, A History

Valentine's Day doesn't have to be a sad thing if you're not dating someone. I love having this day as a marker to evaluate the people I truly love who are in my life. I have a beautiful and fabulous family, caring and supportive extended family, successful and fun friends, and I have a pillow pet named Raja who has never misplaced my trust and is the best listener a girl could ask for.
Do you know the history of Valentine's Day? I didn't really know, so I googled it and now I do.
There was a Catholic priest who served during the third century in Rome named Valentine. Emperor Claudius II was the ruler at this time and determined that single soldiers were more effective in battle than married soldiers so he outlawed marriages at this time. Valentine thought this was really dumb, so he kept performing marriages secretly. When Claudius II found out, he had Valentine put to death (martyred).
So there you have it, love prevails.
I truly need to spend more time on my blog because there is a lot going on right now. But for now, I must attend to school and dressing for a wedding. xoxo Court

Just Throwing This Out There: Taylor Swift

A show that is very near and dear to my heart is Les Miserables. I read the Sparknotes version of the play before seeing the Broadway show and later read the book in 9th grade. I attended the phenomena in the Queen's Theatre in London and I fell in love with this masterpiece from the first moment Jean Valjean walked on stage in seemingly pouring rain. The story by Victor Hugo illustrates the poverty and desperation of a man who has no one but himself and who eventually makes a new name for himself and brings a town out of its depression. Each character is unique and crucial to illustrating the different demographics of the French society at this period in time. That's the objective standpoint of this play. My subjective feelings towards the play cannot even be described accurately with words I currently possess.
I sobbed the entire four hours. I pretty much can only recall blurry images because I was on a crying binge. No play has struck me so forcefully before or since then.

On a seemingly unrelated note...

Taylor Swift: Sweetheart Songwriter & Singer
 LOVE her song lyrics, beautiful, so sweet and considerate of her fans, appreciative, classy. But let's be honest: she CANNOT act or dance.  Do we not remember valentine's day?? her dance with nicki minaj?? Sooo awkward, hon.


Exhibit A: Valentine's Day excerpt
Exhibit B: Taylor Swift Dancing While Nicki Minaj performs


WHY IS SHE IN LES MISERABLES?

Tay, love you but stick to your forte. I beg of you.
xoxo, a fan of your lyrics & passion... for country/pop songs.

Well I'm Just Killing Time...Writhing

Not really, but I do have some breezes to shoot because I can't do my homework until mommyo deposits my textbook funds and I can get my books. Anywho, this is a divine opportunity to catch everyone up. So.
Andrei is still MIA, I got a new calling as VT Coordinator last night (shout out to the mormons out there who know what this means) and was up until 130 doing the spreadsheet because I'm so excited about it, realized this morning that to apply for the Broadcasting program here at BYU I have to take one more class (pre req that no one can get into because it's like 18 people total capacity for each class), went on a date on Saturday with a cute guy from the accounting program, Duke died and I was given 11 new fish by Kay, still crushing on K. (hopefully no one in my ward knows about zis blog), got a 100% on my first couple of Arabic quizzes, played dodgeball last night and was better than I expected, went spelunking last weekend, worked out on Friday by biking 13 miles, got a new phone (same #), decided to write a book called "malleable" about the dilemma and the obsession with identity in today's world, and am awaiting a letter in a few weeks from Jerr-bear. Yup I'm pretty lucky to have one of the best lives going on.
Fun fact from my Foundations of Islam class yesterday: 75% of Muslims don't live in the Middle East! Most are in Southeast Asia with Indonesia being the #1 Muslim country. I'm loving hardcore on my major. I was able to spend some time today reading up on the Middle East on Fox News and CNN articles like: this one. I have a Family Finance class in a little under 2 hours, then Arabic, then home-free to hopefully convince a roomie to go shopping. I can't bear any more fish dying because they're being fed beta fish food. Also I need face lotion.
I have had two songs stuck in my head: "Paradise" by Coldplay, and the song with the lyrics "In another life, I would make you stay" which plays EVERYWHERE. I rode the bus this morning with Caro and the bus driver was "unusually attractive" (I believe those were my exact words at the time) and a guy got on the bus who looked a lot like B and we kept making eye contact. Missed my dance class again this morning, 8 is just an unholy hour to have class. That means though that I haven't been to a class yet which is not gewd. I really need to get back into writing because I constantly have things that I want to write about and I'm worried all these good ideas will be lost if I don't pen them. Also, the mission is ON. I can put in my papers this July and I'm considering leaving next January. Woah, I said it so now I have to be a perfect saint. I am DYING to travel, like I can feel my eyes wrinkling at the corners when I hear about people who have study abroads planned and I'm like... oh yeah, still on campus. GET ME TO JERUSALEM. The amazing Haley H is on her 2nd study abroad right now: in Thailand. Her first was in London. THAT is how college should be. I would love to go foreign for my mission, but I'm worried that will jinx it and also the point of a mission is not to vacay.
Well I have to go to the bathroom again since I started this water binge and I worry about leaving a blog post open around this group of guys sitting near me. xoxo Court